The Perhapanauts

vodka trivia & creed

okay...

i have said before that when we would go to conventions, mike and craig and i would usually get ahold of some saying, catch phrase, line from some tv show, comedy album or whatnot, and just proceed to beat it into the ground all weekend. (last year in charlotte, it was from joe rogan's latest comedy album and we would just shout the word "jihad!' at each other...which almost got us into trouble at the airport when mike was dropping us off...)

other years included the following from the following:

"aye, mira..." "joo got some bal-loonce?" from the jerky boys
"i'm brian fellows!" from snl
"computer says 'no'." "bitty?" "that's right; ching chang chinaman." and a ton more from little britain
"that right. i farted. jealous?" from snl
"what if he's did?" from flight of the conchords

this past weekend in seattle, craig and i couldn't stop running through one of our favorite bits on last week's the office, from one of our favorite wacky guys.

creed: hey, pumpkin. we're gonna ditch this bitch. you in?
angela: no!
creed: pumpkin's out. let's go, gang!

ah, creed...

for some big fun, even if you don't watch the show, check out creed's wikipedia entry here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creed_Bratton_%28character%29

i laughed through the entire thing.
but then, i was also drunk.



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Who knew?!!!!

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The stuff dissolves adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs. (don't do this if your lenses have been uv protected or tinted.)

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving.
The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on wine stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair,
and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle with vodka and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9 Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water into a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshing ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.

11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

12. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

13 Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting. (and i thought it was just pee)

14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.

15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

And silly me!
All this time I've been drinking the stuff.

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"five for friday"

1. yes, in the late 90's rachel green was one of our friends, but at the time nbc touted another show that featured a character named rachel green(e) as well. what was it?

2. with over 3,000 cover versions, what is considered the most recorded song in history?

3. in latin, what does the word trivia mean?

4. what is the term for someone who collects trivia?

5. created on a budget of $35,000, what is the most profitable film of all time?


that's all!
have a great weekend!
smell ya later!
todd

7 comments permanent link

ITEM:

okay...

so as craig and i continue to recuperate from the weekend in seattle, here are a few quick ITEMS like they used to run on the Mighty Marvel Pages back in the old days...

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ITEM: returning home from our whirlwind trip to the pacific northwest, craig and i were greeted by our very own copies of PERHAPANAUTS 2! it's always nice to finally hold in your hands something that you worked months on, but issue 2 is even better 'cause it's just filled with cool extras by some of our most talented friends! an awesome back cover by our pal, Rich Woodall (with Ken McFarlane and Matt Talbot), a pulse-pounding pin-up by Denis Medri, and a stunningly beautiful back-up story by our pal, Rich Case!


oh, also, craig and i did a little something in it too...
and the rico.

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ITEM: on the TELLOS front--with the huge success of the TELLOS COLOSSAL Hardcover, and the subsequent high orders on the upcoming trade paperback version, Image Comics is moving ahead with a second volume, the TELLOS COLOSSAL Hardcover Vol. 2, containing all of the remaining Tellos material! the big news here, however, is that Tellos inker extraordinaire, Rob Stull, and colorist supreme, Paul Mounts have taken one of Mike's later Tellos sketches and created the gorgeous illustration for the second volume's cover! (i'd buy the book just for that cover...stunning!)


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ITEM: a joke

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, '13...13....13...13.'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.

Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting. '14...14...14...14....'.

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gotta run!
smell ya later!
todd

7 comments permanent link

back from seattle!

okay...

well, we're back from seattle and the show was great! met a LOT of really nice people and hopefully found ourselves a few new PERHAPANAUTS fans! craig and i talked to a LOT of people at the show and if you're one of them and you took us up on our invite to check out the site (and the blog!), please let us know whatcha think of it...and the new issue!

while the trip out (and back!) was a nightmare for me (delayed flights, missed connecting flights, 8 hour wiat for the next flight out...), the show itself was big fun and, in addition to meeting so many really nice folks, craig and i got to hang out with pals like karl kesel and jeff parker, we got to meet new friends, like paul tobin, writer of marvel adventures fantastic four, colleen coover, artist on jeff's x-men: first class, matt maxwell, writer/creator of the werewolf/western strangeways, david hahn, artist on marvel adventures fantastic four, and alex and andy who own a comic shop that, beacuse of all the beers we were drinking, i can't remember the name of. sorry,guys...

brian and bill were there also, brian helping with the table when he wasn't following up on his commissioned sketches (he scored some really beautiful stuff!) and bill helping as a shill in the aisle when he happened to be passing by. : )

besides being a really nice show, the organizers treated all of their guests to some fine accommodations. the hotel rooms were especially gorgeous, inspiring craig to launch himself onto one of the cloud-like beds as soon as we got in the door--



here's us with our pal, jeff parker, playin' it cool!


here's the table staff in an exclusive photo...



and the same shot from brian's camera which somehow magically gifts one person in the photo with sunglasses! i dunno how it works, i just know it was craig's turn...


thanks to all of you who came out to see us and support the haps and we really hope you'll join our perhapa-family!

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here's a picture of a pinata.

pinata's are fun!
adopt one today!

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here,
the answers to your

"five for friday"

1. how many feet of wire is in a slinky?

80

2. what is the band steely dan named after?

a dildo from the william burroughs novel, naked lunch

3. in what town could you buy your comics at the android's dungeon?

springfield

4. how did attila the hun die?

a nosebleed that wouldn't stop (on his wedding night no less...)

5. what famous candy bar was named after it's inventor's horse?

snickers


smell ya later!
todd

5 comments permanent link

iron man! (no spoilers)

okay...

so, as you are reading this, i am more than likely winging my way out to beautiful seattle for this weekend's EMERALD CITY COMICCON! craig is flying out too, as are brian and bill.

we were invited out months ago by our old friend, jim demonokas, formerly of image comics and now the emerald city organizer. jim's a great guy and has put together an impressive array of guests--lots of friends i'm dying to see--jeff parker, scott kurtz, karl kesel, kurt busiek--and people i'm hoping to get a chance to meet and/or say hello to.having never been out to the pacific northwest, i am very excited and hope to at least see the space needle...if you live out in that part of the country, please come by and see us on our west coast leg of our PERHAPANAUTS USA TOUR!

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so, i went with sharon and my dad the other night to see IRON MAN finally, and i loved it! much more than the first iron man movie...oh, i mean, batman begins...

usually i try to stay positive here on the blog and keep any negative thoughts about comics, comic-related movies, or the industry on the whole to a minimum--but after seeing iron man the other night, it got me thinking about how easy it was for them to make a movie once they decided to stay true to the character and his history. sure, there were a couple of minor plot holes, continuity glitches here and there--what movie doesn't have that? and a couple of instances where they "hollywooded" some little bits, but all in all, that WAS iron man! robert downey WAS tony stark.

which brings me back to the batman franchise...
craig and i went to see batman begins together two summers ago, i happened to be visiting out at his house when it came out, and we both were thrilled at the first half of the film; the retelling of his origins, the training sequences in the himalayas--all new, all unique, and offering such promise that maybe this time they'd gotten it right.

and then it turned into iron man. millionaire, lots of toys, lots of tech.
wasn't he in asia to train to be a ninja?
wasn't he learning stealth and honing his physical prowess?
isn't bruce wayne supposed to be rather brilliant and incredibly resourceful?
everytime he ran into any opposition, he'd turn to morgan freeman and say, "hey, do we have anything that would do this...?"

and then the whole thing degenerates into car chases and explosions.
(very stealthy. i've seen lots of ninja movies where they do that...)

and not just any car...
in his graveliest batman voice, christian bale says, "i love this city and i need to protect the people of gotham."
and then he drives his tank over the rooftops of gotham doing, easily, millions of dollars in property damage, putting all of those citizens in immediate danger, and blows up everything in sight.

why do action movies always end in car chases and explosions?

and the trailer for the dark knight looks to be more of the same (interspersed with the late heath ledger's unconventional new interpretation of the joker.)

(yeah, i'll see it--but i'm not holding my breath...)





i loved iron man!
that's the way to do it.



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oh, yeah, wait...!
here are your
"five for friday"

1. how many feet of wire is in a slinky?

2. what is the band steely dan named after?

3. in what town could you buy your comics at the android's dungeon?

4. how did attila the hun die?

5. what famous candy bar was named after it's inventor's horse?

have a great weekend!
smell ya later!
todd

7 comments permanent link

your true tales

okay...

because i'm feeling that we need to get things creepy around here again, here are two entries from our friends over at
Your True Tales at paranormal@about.com

this first one took place right across the river from where i live and i remember there being an smattering of reports of a bigfoot or something being sighted in that area at that time...

Your True Tales
April 2008

The Shrieking Hulk
by Anonymous

This takes place in about 1990-1992, I cant remember exactly. When I was younger (5-18) I lived in a very small town in upstate New York. I would rather not say the name of the town to protect its sheer natural beauty, but I will say it is near Coxsackie. Now I was young at the time (5-7 -- again don't really remember my age, but this event is in my mind like it was yesterday).

We were in the middle of nowhere surrounded by trees, and being a young boy I liked to go out and play and stay out when it got dusk. We had a pond in the backyard, so I liked to go back there and look around. But one night was different. The area was usually loud with bird, and insect sounds, but not this night. I happened to look at the edge of the woods, and what I saw will stay with me until the day I die.

It was very large -- at least 8 feet tall, hairy as the day is long, bending over a sapling and staring at me. There was still some light out and it seemed to smile at me, as if it wanted me to come closer. But as I backed away, the smile turned into more of a sneer. Then the noise it made was the most god awful thing you have ever heard. It was like a howl with the sound of a dying rabbit (yes, they make a shriek right before they die).

I bolted to the house in record time. I never made it that fast before and slammed the door shut. My parents asked what was wrong, but I couldn't say a word. But the real strange thing happened that night. I don't know exactly when it happened, but when I woke up in the morning, the screen in my bedroom window was ripped out and thrown all the way across the stream next to my window (about 30-40 feet away).

I never saw or heard it again, until about 10 years later a close friend and I were out camping in my backyard. I heard it, but it was far away. We ran back to the house, but teenage pride got the best of us and we went back out there, but this time with a machete, a hatchet, and a large stick. But we never heard it again.


Your True Tales
April 2008

Chupacabras Attack
by CJ

This event happened on May 13 of 2006 in San Antonio, Texas. On this day, my friend was having a family celebration in which two other guys and I were invited. We had dinner and then decided to spend the night in a tent. Our tent had five windows, one right about where I was going to sleep. About 50 yards from our tent was a chicken coop filled with about two dozen chickens.

We all fell asleep at around 12:30. One of the other men woke the rest of us up with a scream. I continued to lie down, listening to his story about why he screamed, with my head leaning slightly against the side of the tent. Then, unexpectedly, I was hit in the head with three sharp nails. Each of these objects were outside the tent. I got up and looked out the small tent window only to see a small creature running on two feet away from the tent. It ran up to a tree and hid behind it. Then it popped its head out from behind the tree and I saw two big yellow-reddish eyes staring directly at me, which made me feel stunned and dazed, like I was in a dream or something.

After a couple of minutes of hearing the creature run by the tent over and over again, I realized it was stalking us. I told my friends what I saw and we decided to make a run for our trucks. One of the guys slowly unzipped the tent, but when I was nearly open, he yelled and fell backward on top of me. He said it was standing in front him staring at him, and then he said, "The quills on its back went straight up when it saw me."

We tried it again and this time we all darted out of the tent, running full speed. But when we nearing the trucks, I slipped and fell in some grass. Everyone else ran by me, leaving me behind. I got up and started running again, but this time I could hear the creature charging after me, directly behind me! But I managed to get there and jump in the bed of the truck and we drove off.

The next day we came back for our stuff and found 14 dead chickens, all mutilated with no blood. We also found footprints with three toes and claws. And where I got hit in the head up against the tent were three claw marks that slashed through the tent and left gashes in my head. I have never spoken of this story until now with anyone besides those friends.


as i've said before, i read these with a grain of salt--it is, after all, an open forum, but i do buy some of them more than others because of the way that they're written or because of some sincerity that comes through.
you decide...

have a great day!
smell ya later!
todd

2 comments permanent link

emerald city comiccon!

okay...

i KNOW that all of you check out craig's blog over at www.craigrousseau.com from time to time and i want to make it clear right here that the reason craig hadn't posted for so long was because we've just kept him so busy, he hasn't even had the time to think about posting anything else.
but ya better hustle over there 'cause that's where he's posted the cover to the all-new, all-different PERHAPANAUTS 5!

go on.
i'll wait.




cool, right?
that's right--choopie alone in bedlam!
but it's nothing like you think...

i'd tell you more about the story, but i know how you like surprises...
: )

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our next item is our wild and crazy con schedule as craig and i hit the road once more to get as many people as we can to take a look at our favorite perhapanauts comic book! we will be guests at the EMERALD CITY COMICCON in seattle this weekend and, if you're in the neighborhood, please come out and see us! we'll have all the favorites; choopie butt cards, perhapa-postcards, the new trading cards, some of our new york exclusive, double-sided t-shirts, and, of course, copies of the PERHAPANAUTS ANNUAL and the nearly sold-out PERHAPANAUTS 1!!
we're both scrambling to get everything done so that we can go and i plan to have posts for monday and friday done ahead of time so that you won't miss us TOO much...
come out and see us if you're fortunate enough to live out there in the pacific northwest! i've never been out that way before and very i'm excited to go! (that's up around where big was first captured...)

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a short while back, our pal, mike estelle, sent me this awesome pic of the jersey devil by artist ryan doan!
dig it!



ryan's done a lot of great paranormal cryptozoological pieces, one of my favorites being his dover demon in the book weird new england! i'll hafta see if i can find a copy of that...

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and, while all but one
of these were answered
in your replies, here are
the answers to your

"five for friday"

1. why wasn't the andy griffith statue placed in mayberry?

mayberry is a fictional place.

2. who were the first television couple to be seen sleeping in the same bed?

fred and wilma flintstone

3. who started out as a writer for the smothers brothers before breaking out as a stand up legend in the '70's?

steve martin

4. in 1968, what movie pre-empted the last 50 seconds of the jets-raiders game?

"heidi"

5. match the song with the television show


a. those were the days=5. all in the family

b. suzanne=8. taxi

c. the fishing hole=3. the andy griffith show

d. i'll be there for you=7. friends

e. tossed salads and scrambled eggs=1. frasier

f. where everybody knows your name=6. cheers

g. love is all around=4. mary tyler moore

h. you're my greatest love=2. the honeymooners

'kay--i gotta go get some work done!
smell ya later!
todd

8 comments permanent link

tv land

okay...

we've had so much going on lately and i've had so much to report about conventions and t-shirts and trading cards and the flurry of activity that's been surrounding the re-launch of the PERHAPANAUTS, i realized that it's been quite a while since i posted a plain old plain old post about something fun, something that everyone can relate to...
and so here's an easy goin' post and some fun "five fors..." to take you through the weekend...

because i was raised on television, and because i owe so much to that box and the people who appeared upon it, one of my guilty pleasure goals in life is to get a chance to visit each of the tv land tribute statues in their various locations across this great country. i don't know if i've ever mentioned them before--i might have--but so far there are four such statues paying homage to andy and opie taylor from "the andy griffith show" in mt. airy, north carolina,







mary richards tossing her hat from the opening of "the mary tyler moore show" in minneapolis,







dr. bob hartley from "the bob newhart show" in chicago,










and jackie gleason as ralph kramden from "the honeymooners" at the port authority in new york city.

this last one i took myself, last year, when craig and kelly (upcoming perhapanauts back-up artist and our super-pal, kelly yates!!) and i were making the trek from our hotel to the javitz in nyc. so i've only got three more to see...although i hope they make more!

so...
hoping that the DO make more, who would you pick? what classic tv character or characters do you think should be immortalized in bronze?
lemme know...

and here are your

"five for friday"

1. why wasn't the andy griffith statue placed in mayberry?

2. who were the first television couple to be seen sleeping in the same bed?

3. who started out as a writer for the smothers brothers before breaking out as a stand up legend in the '70's?

4. in 1968, what movie pre-empted the last 50 seconds of the jets-raiders game?

5. match the song with the television show


a. those were the days

b. suzanne

c. the fishing hole

d. i'll be there for you

e. tossed salads and scrambled eggs

f. where everybody knows your name

g. love is all around

h. you're my greatest love



1. frasier


2. the honeymooners

3. the andy griffith show


4. mary tyler moore

5. all in the family

6. cheers

7. friends

8. taxi

have a great weekend!
smell ya later!
todd

9 comments permanent link